Happenstance
It was truly happenstance that I was present for this event. Some work commitments fell through and I had traveled with a group of friends from the Washington DC area for a weekend of fun in Savannah, Georgia. We would all take part in a celebration of St. Patrick's Day in a city known for putting on one heck of a party. It would start with 12 grueling hours participating in a GoRuck endurance fitness event and then would roll into a long weekend of drinking too much, remembering too little and enjoying the beautiful setting of downtown Savannah with its fountain dyed green,
The event started at 10pm and it wasn't long after that I noticed a high spirited, beautiful girl bouncing around with far more energy than anyone should outside of their formal toddler years. I paid little mind outside of stealing the occasional glance. I was mentally preparing for the event and she had commenced to actively pursuing me for a reason I will never understand, but forever be thankful for. The woman that would become my wife had just started the development of a relationship that is still strong today. From the lens of Knapp's relationship model, this would have been considered the "Initiating Phase."
It was the first step in identifying her interest in me. She was bubbly, high-spirited, incredibly positive throughout what could be a rather miserable experience for many people. As a Marine, her character impressed me. It was a special type of person who could thrive in the face of adversity and physical stress. We were unable to talk much so just as Knapp's Relationship Model discusses, our connection was being built on looks, strong first impressions, and inflation of positive attributes in order to garner favor. Obviously, as the evening went on, I reciprocated those same behaviors. I probably inflated myself to increase bravado, made my Marine Corps career seem tougher and cooler than it actually was, and I was careful to say all of the right things. The conversation was surface level and light-hearted. It allowed for banter, jokes and "topical" discussions. We laughed together and initiated what would later become a much more involved relationship. Following these first twelve hours of initiating our relationship, we agreed to continue to spend time together throughout the weekend and there is probably room to argue that the short initiating phase came and went during that night and by Sunday evening we had clearly moved into the "Experimenting" phase. But... that's a story for another day.
It was the first step in identifying her interest in me. She was bubbly, high-spirited, incredibly positive throughout what could be a rather miserable experience for many people. As a Marine, her character impressed me. It was a special type of person who could thrive in the face of adversity and physical stress. We were unable to talk much so just as Knapp's Relationship Model discusses, our connection was being built on looks, strong first impressions, and inflation of positive attributes in order to garner favor. Obviously, as the evening went on, I reciprocated those same behaviors. I probably inflated myself to increase bravado, made my Marine Corps career seem tougher and cooler than it actually was, and I was careful to say all of the right things. The conversation was surface level and light-hearted. It allowed for banter, jokes and "topical" discussions. We laughed together and initiated what would later become a much more involved relationship. Following these first twelve hours of initiating our relationship, we agreed to continue to spend time together throughout the weekend and there is probably room to argue that the short initiating phase came and went during that night and by Sunday evening we had clearly moved into the "Experimenting" phase. But... that's a story for another day.
That lovely, bubbly, exuberant lady was the woman that would become my wife a few years later. She committed to moving from her home and job in North Carolina to start a life with me in Virginia. Since then, we have created a life together, experienced love, loss and all that falls between. We were married in 2016 and now have two wonderful, bright children who mimic that same level of energy and happiness I saw in their mother that very first night.
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